100 Decibels

Tag: parenthood

  • The Playground Face-Off Between the Deaf Dad and Hearing Dad

    I’d like to share an incident between with my toddler and a hearing kid at the playground…

    The other day, my family and I went to a splash pad with other friends and their toddlers. There was a playground beside as well.

    My toddler’s hearing aids were taken off when playing at the splash pad. Then we went to play at the play structure afterward. It was a hot sunny day and good way to dry off anyway. We played on the swings then went around to pick up sticks and grass then brought them to the play structure. Also added wood chips. I guess you could say we were playing make-believe meals.

    While playing together a bit, I let my toddler play independently as there were other kids at the playground as well. Then there was a hearing kid who walked up behind my toddler and started speaking.

    My toddler turned around and got startled then looked at me signing, “She scared me.”

    This situation triggered me back to my childhood years at the playground. Growing up, I was taught to be polite (or whatever that is) and gesture by tapping on my ears to show I’m deaf. However, this isn’t what I taught my toddler to do. I recalled what my toddler just told me.

    Instead I told my toddler, “Tell her that.” And my toddler did.

    However, the hearing kid continued to speak.

    Again, this triggered me and I recall when I was a kid, I’d resort forcing myself to speak with my deaf voice, “I’m deaf… I canno… under…tand you…! …top it!” But I didn’t tell my toddler to speak.

    As a parent, I could see that the hearing kid wanted to play with my toddler, but my toddler looked at me signing, “I don’t hear her and I don’t understand her.”

    Instead, I signed back, “Tell her that.” And my toddler did.

    I could see that the hearing kid was confused then started to go closer right in front my my toddler’s face.

    My toddler signed, “Tell her to stop talking to me. I don’t understand her.”

    Another trigger was that I’d shove the hearing kid and just sucker punch them. When I was a kid, I sure had ways to communicate with my hands, specifically, my fists. But, I didn’t tell my toddler to do that.

    “Tell her that.” And my toddler did.

    The hearing kid was visibly frustrated and was offended, then went up to her father for a hug.

    My toddler noticed that she left her alone and looked at me, “It’s okay. She’s sad and needs to go to her father.”

    Clearly, this communication barrier made the hearing kid feel frustrated. I left that for her father to deal with her.

    Yes, I’m well-aware this made the hearing kid feel uncomfortable and that’s why her father was there to comfort her since it wasn’t my job to do that. My job was to coach my toddler to advocate and communicate unapologetically in ASL.

    In case you’re wondering how this ended. The father was explaining to his kid that my toddler is deaf and would have to wave or tap my toddler’s shoulders for attention. He coached his kid how to do this. Then they ended up having fun and playing together.

    And for us dads at the playground, we looked at each other, smiled and gave each other the dad nod.

    There was certainly a lesson to be learned out of this.

  • 10 Productivity Tips For You to Be Successful

    Ever wonder how successful people are more productive? Here are some time-saving tips for productivity:

    1. Prioritize tasks:

    1. Prioritize tasks based on urgency and importance, and tackle the most important tasks first.

    2. Use a task list:

    1. Use a task list to keep track of tasks and goals. This can help you stay organized and focused.

    3. Set goals and deadlines:

    1. Set clear goals and deadlines to help you stay on track and motivated.

    4. Avoid multitasking:

    1. Avoid multitasking, as it can actually decrease productivity. Instead, focus on one task at a time.

    5. Take breaks:

    1. Take regular breaks to give your brain time to recharge. This can help boost productivity and reduce stress.

    6. Minimize distractions:

    1. Minimize distractions by turning off notifications, closing unnecessary apps, and finding a quiet workspace.

    7. Use productivity tools:

    1. Use productivity tools such as time-tracking apps, project management software, and automation tools to help you streamline your work.

    8. Delegate tasks:

    1. Delegate tasks to others if possible. This can help you focus on your most important tasks and save time.

    9. Batch similar tasks:

    1. Batch similar tasks together, such as responding to emails or making phone calls. This can help you work more efficiently.

    10. Set boundaries:

    1. Set boundaries for your work hours and stick to them. This can help you maintain a work-life balance and avoid burnout.

    In summary, time-saving tips for productivity include prioritizing tasks, using a task list, setting goals and deadlines, avoiding multitasking, taking breaks, minimizing distractions, using productivity tools, delegating tasks, batching similar tasks, and setting boundaries. By incorporating these practices into your daily routine, you can save time and increase your productivity.

    Which one of these time-saving productivity tips did you like and why? What other tips do you have that wasn’t mentioned here?

  • You are focusing on the wrong thing. Read this.

    When I paid off my 6-figure student loans (and my spouse’s) 4 years ago, I started to shift my focus.

    One of my focuses is not playing status games.

    Some of the things that are no longer my priority are:

    • looking to change the world.
    • looking to build the next big thing.
    • looking to pursue a title.
    • looking for more projects, people, etc.

    I used to think of wanting to get the highest valuation (i.e. profit) but that changed…

    Where I am in life now with a growing family, I shift my focus to:

    • spend time with my wife and toddlers.
    • fly out to visit my family and in-laws anytime.
    • work on projects that will have an impact.
    • have meaningful conversations.

    When you list out priorities in your life, it can change the course of action. Then, you start to take a different path with intentionality.

    What are you doing now? Living someone else’s life? Or living your own?

    When you’re ready to start living a life on your own terms, you can start with something affordable by taking the 7 Day Shift now.

    Learn more about the 7 Day Shift.

  • Advice I would give to my teenage self

    What advice would you give to your teenage self?

    The one advice I would give to my teenage self is a higher education degree does not necessarily correlate with a higher salary.

    Sure, it depends on the speciality but is not necessarily true for all degrees. In my case, all my degrees are liberal arts degrees.

    Another thing I’d add is that being a high paid employee doesn’t guarantee financial freedom. At the end of the day, employees are taxed. And especially more when they’re on the higher tax bracket.

    So, I’ll encourage my teenage self to explore the entrepreneurship path as well. This will come along with other skills to be developed as well.

    Anything else you’ll like to add that you want to advise to your teenage self?

  • The ONE Thing I Usually Do When Picking Up Groceries

    The other day I went to pick up groceries. You know when you order groceries through an app then you get assigned a date and time when they’re ready to be picked up? That.

    Sometimes I go by myself, sometimes with my wife, or with my toddler. Or all of them together. Anyway, at times, when I go by myself or just with my toddlers, I’d arrive and park at the stall. Then I’ll call the number on the stall through on-demand interpreting services. Or most know this as VRS. Then I’d give the name and stall number I’m parked in. Then while waiting, if I’m by myself, I’ll be taking the time to think about my next post or just simply take the time to meditate. If I’m with the kids, then I’ll have a conversation with them.

    Then when the employee comes out with the groceries, I’d typically get out to open the trunk. Usually, my intention is to at least connect with a basic conversation with them. First, I’d sign, “How are you?” The expected response is they freeze like a deer caught in headlights. Then I get sure with the thumbs up. This typically eases the tension. Then I’d get back in the car and let them load the groceries into the trunk. After they’re done, they usually know to get my attention or make eye contact with me before they close the trunk then go. This usually ends with a wave or thumbs up.

    Now, for those you watching or reading this, what would you do in a similar situation like this and why? Comment below. I’m curious to know.

  • Day One

    A couple of weeks ago, I started following some fathers or dads with social media accounts. Since I’m a dad, of course, I was curious to know what others were doing. I was intrigued. What triggered me to look for accounts for ideas and inspiration is that I am Deaf and a dad. Hence, you see me use these together Deaf dad. Just pronouncing this rolls off my tongue well. It’s like music and beats on my tongue. Anyway, yes, as a Deaf dad, I bump into other parents at my toddler’s school. These parents are not Deaf and they don’t know ASL. So, there is usually some barrier imposed between us each time we’re there in person. Kind of like a glass wall between us where we make eye contact, smile and wave. Then give the thumbs-up gesture on how we’re doing then we move on to doing what we have to do with our kids.

    These parents have never met or known Deaf people or the community. Or are aware of what values lie within being Deaf and using ASL as a natural language. There have been times when we say we like to get together to learn ASL. Usually, this doesn’t happen. So, this is where I come in. I’ll be more active and intentional with my presence on social media as a Deaf dad. Of course, the most important thing, I want to do as a Deaf dad is to be there for my kids. As well as be there for my spouse. Be the Deaf dad I want to be for my family. I’m not gonna lie, it’s hard. Hard to do while working a full-time job, doing freelance work, and Deaf dad duties.

    So, this is my Day One post. Or maybe Week One. Originally, I wanted to post weekly blogs and as I started, my fingers just rolled into typing Day One. So, I’ll roll with it.

    Thanks for reading this far! This is the beginning of my blogging about my Deaf dad journey here. Actually, I think I’ll go with Deaf dad diary. Will roll with it as well. Anyway, comment below! So I can get to know you and what you’d like to learn as I go!

  • Wrapping Up 2022

    As we are wrapping up 2022, as a Deaf parent myself, it appears things aligned. It’s as if life is working things out on its own with my inner manifestation. “What was your inner manifestation?” you may wonder. I wanted to create and be in an environment where Deaf people can thrive with hearing people. And, sure enough, here I am!

    A little background in a nutshell (will try!): I was born Deaf but my parents didn’t know till I was 2. I didn’t learn ASL till I was about 8 years old. This was about the same time I started to bloom at the school for the Deaf and then graduated from a Deaf school. After graduating, I:

    • Attended community college and got my A.A. (graduated with honours!)

    • Got my B.A. at UBC (and graduated with an average of 69% which included the courses I failed)

    • Completed my M.A. at Gallaudet University by defending my thesis called “What is Privacy in Deaf Space?”.

    • Also, I got accepted into a Ph.D. program at the University of Manitoba (but I dropped out after a semester and a half).

    Meanwhile, I was already working to pay off my 6-figure student loan racked up. I took up several jobs doing:

    • Contract work teaching in universities

    • Working full-time as a manager at a social services agency. This is where we had Deaf people at the leadership level including Deaf people on the front lines.

    While working the full-time jobs I mentioned, I:

    • started freelancing doing ASL translations

    • co-founded 100 Decibels: A Deaf Mime Troupe

    • was a landlord for a rental property (later sold).

    With all this happening, I was able to pay off my student loans.

    Then something amazing happened, got married and had kids. My spouse is hearing and our kids are… Deaf. Both have the same thing I have – bilateral sensorineural hearing loss. I had the opportunity to take parental leave for a year to bond with them while they were little. Then an opportunity came up. I took a job at a Deaf-owned and Deaf-led startup. Even more so, my spouse and I enrolled our oldest toddler at a school for the Deaf (where they hired a Deaf principal!)

    So, this is where I am today – in an environment where it is Deaf-led and Deaf-owned. It’s very fascinating how this is coming to and I’m grateful for this journey I’m in. So, back to the question, What was my inner manifestation? The drive I had in me was to contribute what I have to offer by showing Deaf people have value in the world. Back then I did it for myself only. Now with a growing family (hearing spouse and Deaf toddlers), the things I do in life are myself AND my family. Most parents of Deaf children, I’m still learning and rolling in with the punches. The journey doesn’t stop here. We’re wrapping up 2022 and entering into the new year 2023. The best is yet to come!

    What’s next for me here is to connect with parents of Deaf children. And share a bit about my journey and some things I’m learning as a Deaf dad to my Deaf kiddos and husband to my non-Deaf wife. Looking forward to connecting with new folks in the new year! See you all next year!